Lot of times it happens, infact most of the time it happens that what we say to people is different and what we think about them is different. Thoughts are different,words are different…and then we say, I always talk to her sweetly but that person doesn’t seem to radiate positive energy towards me. It’s because your thoughts transfers to another persons mind before your words.
This happens when all the time we are thinking negative of a person and it really matters…as it’s not possible for a person to think or create good thoughts for you as you are continuously creating negative thoughts for him. So instead of checking on other persons thoughts we need to check our own thoughts.
Adjustment is the best solution, as if we try to adjust it will create discomfort initially ,but finally the result will be very comfortable. Every person has a different nature, habits or Sanskars. It’s not necessary that the person will change its habit but yes we can try to inculcate a new Sanskar in them and accept there existing Sanskars.
Now a days a lot of ego problems happening.. as we don’t accept the person with their existing habits and try to change them. This leads to disrespect and dominating on other person. But this is absolutely natural. Don’t disrespect another person for a wrong habit in them, instead try to create a new habit in them because every person have its own logic behind their acts. Now if both the persons logic are correct then one need to understand and adjust to another persons Sanskar. We should not create energy of resistance and conflict. It depends on us whether we want to see Ram in a person or Ravan in him.
First try to change yourself on thought level and then words will come automatically. But keep one thing in your mind that a crow can never become a koel. A crow is very comfortable with its own voice, so you can’t change a crow for your own choice , jus because you don’t like its voice. Why should a person change because you don’t like him. Concern is beautiful but it has to be understand and said in a right way. So ask a person to change for their own comfort but not for your own comfort.